Sunsets and Shades Read online

  I cackled at this response, causing a few other customers to turn and look at our table. “False. The better someone is at sex, the better the sex.” There was no way I could actually buy into that. If what she was saying was true, it would mean that… well, it didn’t matter. Because it wasn’t true.

  “So, you truly don’t think that it has anything to do with the two people involved? Just the set of skills they possess?” Leah pushed. I looked at Liam and Grace who both seemed uncomfortable with the direction this conversation had taken, but this was the type of relationship Leah and I had. We liked to push the boundaries. Hell, we had no boundaries. I loved this back and forth way too much to drop it for their sake.

  “I didn’t say that exactly. There can be sexual chemistry. But that’s either there or it’s not. Feelings will absolutely, 100% not make the sex any better. Sex is sex and that’s just how it is.”

  “Says the girl who has no feelings.”

  “Whatever,” I huffed. “Let’s take a poll. Who at this table agrees with me?” When no one raised their hand, I let out an exasperated sigh. “I guess I should have known that would be the case. But I honestly can’t believe you guys actually think that’s true.”

  “And I can’t believe we’re actually talking about this in the middle of a pizza shop,” Grace finally spoke.

  Liam pointed across the table at her and nodded his head. “I agree. Could we please change the subject?”

  I took a big bite of my pizza, then winked. “This pizza is really good.”

  Chapter 12: Grace

  A month had passed since I came to Philadelphia, and Leah, Kinsley, and I had fallen into a pretty steady rhythm. Mostly, Leah spent the majority of her time either working or at Liam’s, and Kinsley and I spent our time together. As we laid on opposite ends of the couch one Saturday morning watching TV, it hit me that Kinsley had learned a ton about me, but I still knew almost nothing about her. I hit the power button on the TV remote, then laid it back down between us. “You know what? I just realized that I really don’t know anything about you. I’ve told you so much and you’ve told me nothing.”

  Kinsley picked the remote up from where I placed it and turned the TV back on. “There’s nothing to tell.”

  Two could play at this game. “Oh come on. I’m not telling you to divulge your deepest, darkest secrets. Just tell me something about your childhood or what you were like in college.” Off.

  “I’d rather not.” On.

  “Seriously?” Off.

  “Yep.” On.

  “OK. Then tell me more about Lenny.” Off.

  Kinsley picked up the remote again, but then sat it back down. “Fine. But only because he is my favorite topic of conversation, and I also have a feeling that you won’t let this drop until I give you something. But just for the record, that doesn’t mean you won.”

  I dug my foot into her side. “Oh yeah. Of course not,” I mocked.

  “Mr. Lenny Lesden Scott entered my life on the 20th of May 2006, when I was a junior in high school. I bought him, but I consider him a rescue because the pet store I got him at was shady and awful. Chinchillas are delicate creatures. They don’t bond with just anyone, but if you get them to bond with you, they’ll love you for life.”

  “Delicate creatures?” I cut in. “I take it that’s why you and Lenny get along so well.”

  Kinsley took the pillow she was laying on and tossed it across the couch at me. “This is about Lenny, not me. Anyway… Lenny has been my ride or die ever since. For thirteen years, he’s always been by my side… or, at least, by my bed. And before you say anything about his age, most chinchillas live between 15 to 20 years. Some can even live 25. So he’s not going anywhere, anytime soon.”

  “I wouldn’t have said anything because I already knew that. I’m a big nerd, remember?” I hesitated for a moment, wondering if I should push it by asking my next question, but decided to go for it. “So… where has Lenny lived in his 13 years?”

  Luckily, Kinsley smiled at this question. “I see exactly what you’re trying to do here, but I also respect the effort, so I’m going to tell you. Lenny started out his life in a wee little town about three hours from here. Then he spent four years in Wisconsin before moving back to wee little town. After another year there, he decided to go to Philadelphia, where he has been ever since.”

  “Wisconsin, huh? What made you choose to go to school there?”

  Upon hearing this question, Kinsley turned the TV back on. I watched her, waiting for an answer, but she just stared at the TV instead. There was something that told me she had so much locked inside that she refused to let out, and I found myself wanting to be the person to extract it from her. “I can feel you staring at me,” Kinsley announced, without pulling her eyes from the TV.

  “Oh, I wasn’t…”

  Before I could finish my sentence, Kinsley interrupted. “Listen if you have some strange fascination with finding more out about me, it’s gotta be worth it to me. I have an idea, but it will have to wait until later, because if I have to sit around talking about our favorite colors and shit, I want to be drunk.”

  I snorted in response to Kinsley’s ridiculous outlook. “And what is this idea?” I asked, feeling surprisingly just as excited as I was scared.

  The smile that entered onto Kinsley’s face did nothing to tamper either of those feelings. “I’m tentatively calling it Truth for a Dare. That’s all I’m telling you for now. I need to go get writing done. Meet me out here at 5:00 with Chinese and booze.” Without any further explanation, Kinsley stood up off the couch and walked out of the room.

  Several hours later, we were back together on the couch. “So, it’s just like it sounds,” Kinsley explained. “For every dare that you do, I have to reveal a truth to you. For example, say I dare you to run around the city naked. If you do it, you can then ask me any question, and I have to answer it.”

  I thought about her proposition. Every part of it sounded like a terrible idea, and I wasn’t sure how anything good could come of it. Yet, I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to do more. Who was this girl that I had become?! “Fine,” I conceded. “I’m in, but you can’t make every single dare sexual.”

  Kinsley stuck out her hand to me. “You have a deal, as long as you don’t ask me anything about Wisconsin.”

  The fact that she would include this stipulation made me want to ask a thousand questions, but I reluctantly shook the hand in front of me. “Deal.”

  “Oh yeah. One more thing,” Kinsley spoke through a mouth full of Chinese food. “Since we’re going to be drinking anyway, we’re totally going to the club after this. I don’t know about you, but I could really use a good lay right about now.”

  The thought of Kinsley having sex with someone other than me, made my heart drop immediately, and for a moment, I thought I might actually start to cry. I’m not sure why I was reacting this way. It’s not like I thought Kinsley was suddenly going to go celibate just because she had sex with me. This whole mess started because of Kinsley’s obsession with sex. Speaking of which, Kinsley was now looking at me with hungry eyes, most likely already thinking about the person she would take home with her. I cleared my throat. “I’m in for the club. As far as the other part goes, I’ll have to see where the night takes me.”

  “Oh, it’s going to take you all sorts of places,” Kinsley laughed maniacally. “Let me start with something easy.” She tapped her chin in mock contemplation. “I dare you to take a shot of my sweet and sour sauce.”

  I scrunched my nose up at her. “Seriously?”

  Kinsley put both hands up in the air. “I don’t make the rules. I just enforce them.”

  “Technically, you do make the rules,” I pointed out. Kinsley responded by giving me a look that said she wasn’t going to back down, so I reluctantly swallowed the gooey liquid. “Ok. Your turn. What is your favorite color?”

  Kinsley chuckled at my reference to her earlier comment. “It’s green.” She looked up and sta
red at me for a second that felt more like a lifetime. “Actually, it’s exactly the color of your eyes.”

  I couldn’t stop the blush from coming to my face from her compliment, but I wondered if she actually meant it, or if that was just Kinsley trying to avoid anything becoming too serious. I didn’t have much time to contemplate it since she immediately looked away and moved on to her next dare. We kept the first few rounds pretty light with Kinsley giving me sleepover type dares and me asking her kindergarten icebreaker questions in return.

  “Alright. Time to step it up,” Kinsley announced, cracking the knuckles on both of her hands. “I dare you to unfollow Becky on all social media.”

  I picked my phone up off of the coffee table and noticed that my hand was trembling. Deleting Becky off of social media seemed so final. She really wasn’t crossing my mind anymore, so her social media presence was the one thing that reminded me of her. If I deleted her, she would eventually be forgotten. And how can that be? How do you let someone go from being your whole world to being nonexistent in your world? If they disappear, does that mean that all of those years of your life just disappear too? I think this was the part of moving on that I still struggled with. Moving on meant letting go, and letting go meant forever.

  I took a deep breath, then forced myself to go through every social media platform that I followed her on. Goodbye Becky. The feeling of a hand on my shoulder brought me back to reality, and I realized there was a lone tear running down my cheek. When I looked over toward Kinsley, she seemed concerned. “Are you ok?” she asked softly. The sincerity of her tone surprised me. It always confused me when she would transform like this. Her whole demeanor softened and she became a different person, and at this moment, it was causing a kaleidoscope of butterflies to take host in my stomach. Before I could answer, her hand moved from my shoulder up to my cheek, where she used her thumb to wipe away the tear. The delicateness of her touch caused a small gasp to escape from my lips. Kinsley sighed in response and slowly leaned closer to me. When our lips were just an inch apart, her recently closed eyes opened back up, and I noticed a sudden change in her posture. Kinsley sat unmoving, until her lips finally parted.

  “Hit me with your best shot,” she whispered, before pulling away.

  My body was so overwhelmed by whatever had just happened, that it took me a minute to register that she was talking. “Oh, um…” I cleared my throat and tried to force myself back into the mindset of the game. My eyes caught the bottle of vodka that was sitting out on the coffee table. “How would you feel about taking a shot first?”

  Kinsley smiled widely at my request. “Now you’re speaking my language.” She quickly poured a shot for each of us, then held her glass up to mine. “Cheers to what is sure to be an interesting night.”

  “Cheers!” I repeated, before forcing the drink down my throat and trying to not cough in response to how potent it was. “Ok, your turn,” I finally choked out. There were so many questions running through my head that I wanted to ask Kinsley, but I knew if I pushed her too far, she would pull away. “What was little Kinsley like as a child?”

  Upon hearing the question, Kinsley chuckled and got a far away look in her eyes. “Exactly what you would expect. I was a little terror. I have a brother who is eight years older than me. From the time I was like five years old, I wanted to do everything he did. I remember one time, he went spelunking with his friends in this cave close to our house, and they had no idea that I followed them there. I ended up going a different direction than them at one point because I thought it was cool that I could make it through the tiny spaces that they couldn’t, but ended up getting stuck. Luckily, my brother heard me yelling, but he couldn’t get to me. The police department and the fire department had to be called. My parents were pissed, but I didn’t care because I thought I was so cool.”

  I loved watching the way Kinsley’s face lit up as she told this story. She always looked good, but there was something special about the way her eyes were sparkling as she spoke. There was an innocence to her that I wasn’t used to seeing, but it made her even prettier somehow. “That doesn’t surprise me one bit,” I smiled. “I bet your parents had their hands full all the time with you.”

  “Oh they did. I kept them on their toes pretty much all the way up until high school.”

  “I’m surprised it didn’t get worse once you were in high school. I would have thought that you would have been the type to break all of the rules,” I joked. My laughter ceased when I realized that the smile had left Kinsley’s face. Instead of saying anything in response, she reached for her drink, which was almost completely full, and finished it in a few big gulps. I reached a hand out and placed it gently on her arm. “I’m really sorry if I struck a nerve. I didn’t mean to.”

  Kinsley flashed me a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes, and I could tell it was fake. “You had no way of knowing,” she reassured me.

  Without thinking, I ran my fingers along Kinsley’s arm to try to comfort her. Her eyes followed the path of my hand as it made its way up her arm. I hesitated for a moment, then rested it against her cheek, running one finger along her smooth skin. Kinsley leaned into my touch and sighed softly. In that moment, all I wanted to do was bring my lips to hers. I wanted to kiss her silly until she forgot about everything that had hurt her in the past. I knew that wasn’t my place though, so I reluctantly moved my hand and placed it back at my side. I continued to stare over at her, hoping she would look back toward me. “What happened in high school Kinsley?” I asked softly.

  She finally looked over at me and, for a moment, she opened her mouth as if she was about to answer me. Just as quickly, she turned back to the coffee table and started to pour herself another drink. “You see. I can’t tell you that. Not until you do your next dare,” she joked. Though her words were coated in sarcasm, there was still a different tone to her voice than earlier.

  “Fine. What is the next dare?”

  A sincere smile entered onto Kinsley’s face, which had me worried about what was about to come out of her mouth. “OK. Give me a lap dance.”

  My body immediately reacted in response to her dare. Giving Kinsley a lap dance meant getting up close and personal with her, which is all I had been able to think about since that night two weeks ago. The only issue was that I knew nothing about how to give a lap dance. Heck, I barely knew how to dance. “How about we do another shot first?” I suggested, before I could overthink it.

  “Shots and lap dances? Count me in,” Kinsley quipped, quickly pouring the drinks.

  After forcing it down, I stood up to fulfill my task, realizing as soon as I was on my feet just how much the alcohol had started to affect me. I put a hand on Kinsley’s shoulder to steady myself, and she added a hand on my hip for extra support. “This should be very interesting,” she laughed, then grabbed her phone and turned on a song that I had never heard before.

  I tried my best to get in rhythm with the music, but my dance moves just felt robotic. I turned so my back was facing Kinsley and did a booty shake that was anything but sexy. I remembered watching a movie once where someone gave a lap dance and tried to imitate the moves I saw in that by slowly backing into her. Instead of seductively rubbing up against her, I ended up falling onto her lap. When I tried to stand, I lost my footing and fell back onto her again. I felt Kinsley’s body rocking below me and realized it was because she was laughing. I turned to glare at her, and she put her hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry, Grace, but this is by far the most awkward lap dance I have ever gotten.” Soon her tiny giggles turned into roaring laughter.

  “So, you’ve had multiple lap dances?” I pouted, although I knew I shouldn’t be upset or surprised by this fact.

  A cocky grin came onto Kinsley’s face. “I’ve had a few.”

  This revelation brought on a whole new level of motivation, and I turned around so I was straddling Kinsley’s lap. I ran my hands along her legs, then up her sides, feeling my confidence building. “Is this bett
er?” I whispered into her ear, hoping it would sound as seductive as I imagined.

  Kinsley swallowed audibly. “I wouldn’t exactly call this dancing,” she pointed out, but the way her voice trembled as she spoke told me that I was having an effect on her.

  “How about now?” I asked, as I ground my hips up against hers. The friction between us sent shockwaves through my whole body, and I suddenly found myself wishing that there weren’t so many layers of clothing between us.

  “You’re definitely making progress,” she answered breathlessly. She moved her hands onto my hips and pulled me closer to her. Soon, she was leaning into me and kissing my neck, just like she had the night we had sex. With that move, I had officially lost control of my body and was ready for her to do whatever she wanted to me. Her mouth moved up to my ear, and her breath made me shiver. “How would you feel about a quickie before the club?”

  And just like that, the moment was gone. Leave it to Kinsley to completely ruin it. I pulled myself off of her and sat back down on the couch, making sure to leave space between us. Kinsley wanted a quickie before going to the club. The club where she was planning to find someone else to have sex with. “Is that seriously all I mean to you?” I asked, exasperated.

  “Oh come on. It was a joke,” Kinsley fought back. I gave her a look that told her that I didn’t find it funny, and she softened a bit. “I’m sorry, OK? I make stupid jokes when I get nervous, and for whatever reason, you in all your awkward glory make me really nervous sometimes.”

  “And why is that?” I asked, desperate to know what she was thinking for once.

  Kinsley lifted one eyebrow at me. “Is this your truth question? Because if it is, this is all you get. Don’t think I’m going to answer this and tell you anything about high school.”

  I nodded for her to go on, frustrated that she insisted on continuing to play this stupid game. “OK then,” Kinsley sighed. “The truth is, I honestly don’t know. All I know is that you make me feel things that I can’t quite explain, and I can’t decide if I love it or I hate it, and that makes me nervous.”